In Sunday School our teacher, Brett Smith, shared this anonymous short story, written for those who live in a constant state of bondage to the events of the past.

One Minute Mama – Stay on Your Path

Most have heard the quote by Robert Frost, “Two roads diverged in a wood and I - I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference.”  Emily H. of Georgia has similar advice for Mamas when she said, “Stay on your path.  You were uniquely created to be the mother of your child.  Hold tight to that truth and fight the urge to veer based on someone else’s opinions or practices.”

God speaks to each of us uniquely.  What he tells one Mama to do can be very different than what he tells another.  Sure, it is great for a community of Moms to learn from one another but be careful to honor what God puts in your heart for your child and the best practices needed for your family.

You may have noticed that, ironically, I am offering advice for Moms around the world, so I am not necessarily saying not to take the advice.  However, in all advice given, the Lord needs to set the true course as to the best direction for you and your family. That’s why in every situation, say a quick prayer for confirmation from Him. His path is always the best and you can take comfort in the peace of knowing He will shine the light upon the path down which you should go.

Proverbs 3: 6 (NIV)- “in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight.”

Proverbs 8: 22-23

Front Parking Spot - “Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you,” Jeremiah 1:5

One week ago, my granddaughter made her grand entrance into this world. It has been an amazing moment for all of us, as we celebrate this new life that has been given to our family.  She is the next generation of a legacy of love, faith, compassion and hard work.  She is God’s gift, direct from heaven, woven in her mother’s womb and sent to us here on Earth.

With all of the life moments that have happened this week, I couldn’t help but to think of my upcoming children’s book, The Baby Garden.  In my mind “The Baby Garden” is the place where all babies are before conception.  When God ordains it and the parents cooperate, He sends each baby to their sweet mama to grow into the little human that was perfectly chosen by Him.  He has equipped the babies with their talents and individual strengths that will be with them all of their days here on Earth.  Now we have this wonderful child joining us along our path of life.  It is going to be our honor, and our joy, to journey alongside of her as she develops into the woman that God has called her to be.  She will learn, make mistakes and grow in the ways He has ordained for her, but she was perfectly designed and chosen by Him to be in all of our lives.

Throughout my daughter’s pregnancy, I noticed that there was a tremendous amount of speculation as to whether the baby was a boy or a girl.  Unlike so many couples these days, my daughter and her husband decided not to learn the baby’s gender in advance.  They were surprised on her actual birthday.  Seriously, does it even matter?  This baby has been hand picked by God as the perfect addition to a family regardless of the gender.  He knows the exact path for each child, as well as the family dynamic that she will bring, as He graces the parents with His gift for their family.  After this sweet little baby girl is resting in your arms, you can’t imagine that any other child could be better for you.  Of course, this is the case because God has chosen this gift directly for you and He knows BEST, what each family needs.

Welcome to this world, sweet granddaughter!  We are so thrilled you are here.  You are perfectly created, and to follow along on your journey of life with your parents is a privilege like no other.  We are humbled and forever grateful for this God given gift of YOU!

And welcome to the Front Parking Spot of life, sweet baby girl!

Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV) “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

Ephesians 3:20

1 Thessalonians 5:17

One Minute Mama – Don’t Compare

In our world of social media, with news at our finger tips, it’s easy to get drawn into a comparison ideology of other people’s lives vs. our own.  Amy C. of California offers an insightful viewpoint, “Take all advice with a grain of salt. Instagram and Facebook are full of picture-perfect families with tons of opinions.  I promise that their day-to-day is very different.  Do what works for you and your family.  Don’t feel guilty for not following the perfect plan laid out in photos or by some social media guru.”

This is so true! Up until ten years ago, most people relied on reading books about parenting and also following tried and true practices spread by word of mouth.  Social media was just developing, but social groups of women, getting together to talk about their common experiences has been happening since the dawn of time.  Now, a young mom can search the internet and in seconds find a plethora of solutions to her problem that are all “guaranteed” to work.  But do you really trust all the spectacular images, vacations and storybook romances as presented on social media?

Why not try and find a community of other moms that are in your neighborhood or city.  Get out of your house and cultivate time spent with these other ladies that are in your same proverbial “boat.”  Share ideas, and listen to advice they may offer face to face.  No social media post is a replacement for direct, face to face, human contact.  Being in a play group, bible study, or other child activity class is a better way to gain practical advice on day to day child developments, and see the results, first hand.

Last but not least, pray. These are the most tiring, but most influential days in your child’s young life. So many foundations are developing and a mom who is always comparing her family or herself to others is discounting the very important role she plays. Listen to advice and take what has value, but remember, through prayer, the Lord will guide your heart down the best path you should take and He has the best advice to offer.

Galatians 6:4 (NIV) Each one should test their own actions. Then they can take pride in themselves, without comparing themselves to someone else, for each one should carry their own load.”

John 16:33

Fruits of the Spirit - Galatians 5: 22-23

Front Parking Spot – Your Plans

Recently, I had what I consider to be a “God Moment”.  I felt like angels were singing in praise with this new great idea that God had placed in my head.  My husband and I prayed for God’s direction and we moved quickly towards what we felt was God’s will.  Doors were opening, important information was learned and then the moment of action needed to happen.  When facing the risk involved and staring at the cross road of the direction we should take, we prayed, Proverbs 16:3 “Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and He will establish your plans.”  We moved forward with our course of action and then this amazing door of opportunity was slammed shut.  Prior to this revelation, our hearts were at ease with the knowledge that whatever God’s will was in this life decision, He would direct.

He did.

At first, I was sad that our plan did not happen.  It had seemed so clearly to be from God.  Why didn’t this work out?  Then I remembered my prayer for His perfect will.  There were so many unknowns in my finite mind that I had to trust the one who knows best and this gave me great peace.

Already, details are unfolding where we can see His hand in the new direction that we are taking.  In future months, I know we will continue to see His plan unfold even more clearly.  Don’t get me wrong, the idea is still there but we have to commit to the Lord our actions, so that His perfect plans can happen in His exact timing.  It is undeniable that God’s will in our lives and the path we should take is what leads us to that front parking spot and this is where I choose to hang my hat on this journey of life.

Jeremiah 29:11

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans for a hope and a future.”

One Minute Mama – A Unique Thing

Recently at a baby shower, Moms and adult children were giving advice to the expectant mama.  Many great words of wisdom were shared but one suggestion really stood out. Stacy B. of Texas stated, “When your kids are growing up, have a unique “thing” with each of them.”  Stacy went on to explain what the “thing” meant.

She shared that with her Mom, she always did choreographed motions at the door before bed with her favorite night time music.  Like it was yesterday, she started demonstrating with her hands as she explained.  In addition, she always did a modified, “I love you” gesture with her Dad as she would catch the bus for elementary school and continuing on years later as she drove herself off to college.  It was amazing how vivid these two events were in her mind even after all of the time had passed since they first evolved.

So, do some special “thing,” unparalleled with each of your kids.  Don’t make it a “one size fits all” application but unique for each of your children.  It is amazing that even after the many years of their initiation, they will be quick to remember these special bonds.  The little things you are doing now are creating a lasting impression, solidifying the bond between you and your children. You never know, it may become that great piece of parenting advice that they share down the road.

Psalm 127:3 (NIV)

Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from Him.

John 10:14-15

Psalm 143:8 - Lamar Valley, Yellowstone National Park

Front Parking Spot – Wife Wisdom

This weekend, Dads are celebrated around the world.  Obviously, I am not a Dad, but a wife who is married to a wonderful Dad of our three daughters.  Over 30 years of marriage, I have learned many things about marriage relationships.  I have created a list of 6 key elements for women to remember and implement in their own relationships with the Daddy of their own children.

1.     Women have a tendency to nag.  Don’t nag, it’s extremely annoying.  Before making a request or a statement be sure you have your husband’s full attention and then bring up the discussion point you want to share.  Otherwise, you are just talking to yourself, without him listening, and you will become frustrated.

2.     All men need respect.  Be careful of the words you say.  Avoid sentence starters like “You never,” or “Why do you always?”  Starting a conversation this way will not end up being productive.  Focus more on starting with, “I feel…”

3.     Be careful what you say about your husband in a room full of women.  Being a teacher, I am around women all the time.  It is very alarming to hear a woman “husband bash.”  Please refrain from ever doing this.  No one knows what to say to a woman who is bashing and it diminishes your husband’s value.  Remember your vow “to love and to cherish.”

4.     No one ever wants to be around a “Debbie Downer.”  Avoid becoming one.  We have all been with people who have nothing uplifting or encouraging to say. Try not to be that constant complainer to your husband.  Those types of conversations and attitudes get old quickly and leave no one with any warm and fuzzy feelings.

5.     Be sure to take care of yourself.  It has been widely acclaimed that, “If Mama isn’t happy, nobody’s happy!”  As cliché as this is, when you have some time with God, exercise, put makeup on, or clean up, you feel better about yourself and those around you can sense the difference.  Take the time to do this and see how it changes your frame of mind.  You will be infinitely more pleasant around others and you will feel better about yourself too.

6.     Pray for your husband.  The number one thing you can do daily for the man you married is to pray for him.  Many years ago, a good friend taught me a scripture I say often.  It is Luke 2:52. Pray that your husband will increase in “wisdom and stature and in favor with God and men.” This is a very powerful scripture to claim over him.  Why not pray and believe it?  This is what the “Front Parking Spot” mentality and living to God’s full potential in your life, is all about, so go for it!

1 Samuel 2:2 “There is no one like our Lord, there is no one besides you, there is no Rock like Our God.”

Lamar Valley, Yellowstone National Park, Wyoming

One Minute Mama – Get Out of Your Comfort Zone

As a young mom, it’s easy to feel like your days fall into the mundane cycle of cook, clean, sleep, repeat.  No shocker here, it does! Raising small children is a moment by moment mental and physical challenge.  A mom is responsible for their child’s needs, at all times of the day, every day. It is very easy to feel trapped in this habitual rut. Even people who don’t have children can easily slip into this phenomenon of doing the same things, the same way, all the time.  Anna R. of New Jersey addressed this concept head on as she stated, “Expose your kids to the world, take them on adventures, even if it is just locally. Try to make it a habit to get out of your comfort zone and try new things, it’ll inspire them to do the same.”

Anna has a great recommendation for all of us, because getting on the proverbial “hamster wheel of life,” is easy to do without even realizing it.  What keeps us from trying new things?

Recently, in my classroom, our guidance counselor, Rebecca Grindstaff ED.S. (Specialist in Educational Leadership, Masters in School Counseling) encouraged our students to adopt a “Growth Mindset.” The term “Growth Mindset” was developed by psychologist Carol Dweck and became popularized in her book Mindset, The New Psychology of Success. In her book, Dweck challenges her readers to move from a fixed mentality to a growth mentality. This means that instead of saying, “I can’t!” the mindset changes to, “I haven’t done that YET!” It has been inspiring to see the freedom in my students when they realize they all have the ability, if they put forth effort and are not intimidated by failure. They also come to realize that it is acceptable if something takes more than one or several attempts, especially if it is difficult. 

Circling back to Anna’s advice, nurture this principle early on in your child’s development. Expose them to new learning environments and experiences. Avoid the same routine schedule, just because it is comfortable. Drive to the new playground, go to a different library, have them try a new food at each restaurant. The possibilities are endless. Starting at a young age will enable your children to not be afraid of risk and unknown life experiences but to embrace each learning moment as a new adventure.  By seeing the need for a growth mindset in your own life, away from your own comfort zone, you are modeling an adventurous spirit for your little ones and leading by example. Now, embrace the change and go try something new. You will have a lot more to talk about at the dinner table!

Romans 12:2 (NKJ) “And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is good and acceptable and the perfect will of God.”

There is no fear in Love but perfect Love drives out fear…