Whenever you hear an argument, a sense of uncomfortableness always ensues. In the grocery store today, I listened to an older man escalating his voice to a worker and another man his age. It was evident that this was becoming heated with the political nature of where the “discussion” was going. I wanted to quickly leave the produce section and slip down another aisle to avoid confrontation. The Holy Spirit, that little voice inside, told me differently. I was to speak to him to diffuse the situation calmly.

So, I did.

I walked peacefully up to the man and said, “I agree with the points you are making but walk with me and let’s discuss further.” Reluctantly, he followed me, and we continued a very civil conversation about the political issue that was his “hot” button. Additionally, he shared stories of his time in the military and another point of common ground that emerged from our little sidebar. With his emotion now diffused, he left the scene and did not engage with the other gentleman again. It was amazing how a little bit of my calm brought down his crazy.

What about you? What do you do when tensions are high, and voices are rising? Do you join in while spewing every insult that comes to mind? What about when your child is having the 3rd meltdown of the day? Do you exaggerate your speech in anger to make your voice a little louder and more precise? Sometimes we want to let loose and share our passions right back in the heat of the moment but next time when emotions get high, give these three things a try.

1. Talk soft and calm

2. Use kind words with a gentle smile

3. Insert a small distraction

Before your eyes, you will see the situation de-escalate.

Isn’t this how Jesus conducted every day in his ministry? Why not adopt this strategy into your parenting repertoire? You will be amazed at how any volatile situation will settle as you change the combative climate with your calmness. Most importantly, they will hear you, the end goal will arrive, and your problem will disappear.

James 1:19-20 “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.”